There is so much that has happened in my life over the past six weeks that it overwhelms me to even think about blogging about it all...so I don't. I think about how I need to blog, and then I think about how I don't even know how to fit in all that I should say. A lot will probably be left out, but I'm going to attempt to fill you guys in on the things I promised and the things you asked for.
How is LG? - I probably get this question more than any other. LG is awesome. That kid has every right to hate us right now. Her life has been turned completely upside down. When most kids get a sibling they have to learn to share their parents with one other baby. Poor LG has had to adapt to sharing her parents (and time) with two. I went from playing with her, reading books to her, and taking her to almost daily play dates....to sitting on the couch nearly all day breastfeeding two babies she didn't even know. She's been great through it all though. Despite the fact that they take me away from her so much, she still loves them. She's a very proud big sister.
Feelings on the c-section - As you well know, I didn't want a c-section. I wanted what a I knew, and I knew vaginal birthing. I think vaginal birthing is pretty unpleasant during the process, but after it's over...it's over. So, that's what I wanted ideally, but you guys know that because of baby positioning I knew for quite some time that it was unlikely that I'd get to deliver the babies vaginally. It may not have seemed like it, but I started trying to prepare myself mentally for a c-section several weeks prior to actually delivering. I basically told myself that I'd done everything in my power to avoid a c-section and my doctors had done the same. If they ended up being delivered that way then so be it, there was no other safe route. I do not and have never since their birth regretted the c-section.
That being said, having gone through both types of delivery now, I cannot believe women actually choose to have elective c-sections when they don't have to. I get not wanting to have VBACs for those that have already had c-sections, but those that choose to have a c-section for no good reason for the first baby...I cannot fathom why. For me...the delivery was much, much, much less personal. I don't know if it was all the people in the room...the curtain in place so I couldn't see what was going on...I don't know, it just wasn't the same.
The recovery was much, much, much harder. I guess if you had nothing to compare it to then it might not seem so bad. Considering you've just had major surgery it doesn't seem THAT bad, but it really is a great deal harder than after a vaginal delivery. After I delivered LG I felt pretty darn good. I felt like I could go to the mall and do a little shopping (I didn't actually do this) on the way home from the hospital. After the c-section, I was able to get up and walk the first day several hours after the surgery, but it hurt like heck. Everything was very tight in that area. I felt like I was bruised on the inside...like I'd been used as a punching bag...and if you've ever seen what they do to your uterus during surgery then you know you probably ARE bruised from the inside. Did you know they take your uterus out of your body and then put it back in??? I had no idea...and I guess I'm glad I didn't.
I had to walk like an old lady for a while...very very slow and slightly stooped. I did a lot of walking those first few days, because we had to take the girls to the hospital a few times to have their bilirubin levels checked, but I made it through just fine. No harm done.
So, in a nutshell...I wouldn't recommend a c-section at all unless completely necessary, but if it is completely necessary then I wouldn't beat myself up about it...it's do-able. Also, it might be a little easier if you use some pain killers. I personally didn't want any, and I still think that was the right decision for me, so don't send me comments saying how stupid that is or how much easier my recovery would have been with them. My recovery wasn't that bad anyway, and I just really don't like taking medication. I had two small babies that I really wanted to nurse, and I knew they were probably not going to be the best nursers because of their size, so I really didn't want to make them even more sleepy by taking Percocet or anything else. I did take an Advil or two for the contracting uterus thing over the span of the first two days if that makes you feel any better.
Nursing twins - I said before that they nursed pretty well from the get-go. This was such a blessing after what I went through with LG. I was so scared that they'd be exactly like her and that I wouldn't be able to handle that again times two. But at 35 weeks 5 days gestation, they were better nursers than their older sister was at 38 weeks gestation. Heck, they were better than she had been at 6 weeks old. With that said, this nursing twins thing is for the birds.
Yes, it's for the birds. I am going to be really honest here...I don't love nursing. With LG it was sort of a bonding thing. I kind of hated it at first, but once we got the hang of it I really enjoyed the time with her. This time, they've had the hang of it for quite some time, but I really just can't enjoy it. It eats up a TON of time. Some people asked if I nurse them at the same time. Sometimes I do. They really weren't coordinated enough to do that successfully until they were about three weeks old. Since then, we nurse at the same time sometimes, maybe even half the time, however, it is really hard to do. If I only had an extra couple of hands it would be a lot easier. Positioning is very awkward, and I don't feel like they get as much milk when I feed them this way. Someone asked if I'm twice as hungry nursing two as I was with one....the answer is...I have no idea. I'm a hungry person in general, even when I'm not nursing.
Please pray for us. They are six weeks old, and have been breastfed exclusively since they were less than a week old. I am not going to stop nursing, that's not what I'm asking for you to pray about. I just ask that you pray that it gets easier. They are still on no real semblance of a schedule. They usually do not want to wait three hours between feedings. Heck, I'm lucky if they'll wait one hour some days. They're gaining weight beautifully, so it might just be that they're still playing catch up or are having constant growth spurts...but it is killing me. Honestly, feeding them is the only really hard part about this twin thing. I have no complaints about anything other than this. Yes, I know I can bottle feed and that there is no shame in formula, but I'm not willing to go there right now.
They believe one baby (Baby E...haven't decided what to call them on here yet) has a milk and soy protein allergy. This means that if we were to use formula we'd have to use a special expensive kind that would, they estimate, cost us $200 per month just for that baby. They would probably put them both on it since they say they both probably have a slight sensitivity. This would mean together they would need over $400 in formula. HA! We can't afford that. So, breastfeeding it is....it's FREE...though, do you know what that means? I have had to cut all milk/milk products (basically dairy, except I can have eggs) and soy (soy is in everything) out of my diet for the past month. Do you know how hard it is to get in the calories I'm supposed to have while eating no dairy or soy? It's hard! (I can have soybean oil; it's not a protein)
We have an allergist appointment on Monday. So, in addition to praying that bfing gets easier and more scheduled, please pray that the allergist appointment goes well and that they can figure out what is causing her problems.
SLEEP - How much sleep do I get? I have no idea, honestly. I sleep on the couch half the night usually. Then they wake and eat. We usually go to bed after that. I usually get a few more hours in then depending on when they are hungry again. Luckily, on a good night, they actually sleep pretty well. That is the only time they really wait a while between feedings. So, aside from the first week or two, sleep has been pretty decent. I really can't complain. I've just got to get them on a better routine when it comes to sleep...if I can do that we'll be all set.
